


Forget Me Not

by EmpressCactuar



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Skeletons, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:21:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27224941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmpressCactuar/pseuds/EmpressCactuar
Summary: These are just oneshot ideas for a Reiner died/Bertholdt lived AU. Same AU as my pushups fic. Updates sporadically whenever I feel inspired.
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover
Kudos: 30





	Forget Me Not

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter, I wanted to think about one of the 104th feeling bad during the serumbowl and finding Reiner's body. Thanks to my pal that helped me with this idea!! ^^

Sasha practically felt frozen in place. They'd managed to blow Reiner out of the armored titan, even managed to take him hostage and got a letter from him, to be delivered to Historia from Ymir. In spite of everything that had happened, and of everything that had happened between them, Reiner insisted the letter had to make its way back to Historia. A promise to Ymir, he'd said. 

She wasn't as sure how to feel as Eren was sure he hated Reiner. She didn't lose family when Shinganshina fell all those years ago. Maybe it wasn't her place to be unsure of how everyone else was reacting. Reiner's blonde hair was growing back, it now soft and short. He'd been kicked by Hange and fell unconscious. Eren had started screaming bloody murder whenever a large, quadrupedal titan ambushed him and took Bertholdt away from him. But the titan seemed to stop, and Captain Levi was atop the wall. She, Hange, Jean, and Connie all brought out their blades. The blonde man had shaken his head. 

"Looks like it's the end of the road for you, Reiner." The man had said, before fleeing with Bertholdt. Reiner didn't hear. He was out cold. 

Now they were dropping Reiner flat on the roof. They had the serum. They could save Armin, all he had to do was eat Reiner and the armored titan's power would be his. It was the only way. Sasha wanted to cry when she'd seen Armin's charred body. She'd wanted to cry when she saw Reiner's decapitated body. Really, she just wanted to cry. 

All she'd wanted was to live with her friends. Maybe in a world where they'd retaken Wall Maria and could have more meat. She remembered clinging to Reiner and telling him an ox of a man like him deserved an entire roast; he'd laughed and asked what someone as tall as Bertholdt should have in that case. Now she couldn't even remember what she'd jokingly said to him. All she could think about now was his limbless body laying on the rooftop. Armin's charred body was close by. Levi had the serum and was preparing to inject Armin's body. 

How desperately she wanted things to be different. 

Everything Bertholdt had said... that they were precious comrades, that it wasn't all a lie. Those words stuck with her right now. What was Reiner dreaming about now? Was he? What was he thinking when he gave over Ymir's letter? 

Floch, a new recruit to the Survey Corps, crawled up with Commander Erwin's body. The commander... he looked to be on the brink of death. Floch started insisting on reviving the commander. Sasha wanted to pull her hair out. Soon, Eren started shouting and begging for Captain Levi to save Armin. She could hardly see through all the tears in her eyes. Of course she wanted Armin alive. But the commander would be the one to guide them to victory, wouldn't he? That's what Floch was saying. 

Sasha wasn't even sure she had an opinion. This whole time, it seemed like she'd just been taking orders. She'd been heartbroken when Bertholdt and Reiner betrayed them, but she hadn't even felt allowed to express her feelings because of Eren's constant talk of hating them. And her family? How could she possibly tell someone outside the Survey Corps she'd been having thoughts of feeling sorry for one of those responsible for destroying Wall Maria and killing so many of their friends, families, and neighbors? 

"Everyone get out of here right now! I don't want Erwin to eat one of you instead of Reiner!" She and Connie quickly fled, along with Jean. Eren and Mikasa had to be dragged away from the scene; it was hard for her to leave Armin behind, too, but she didn't grow up with him. 

She glanced over at Reiner's body before she left; his hair had grown back now. His hair seemed to grow quickly, at least compared to the rest of his body. Small arm buds were growing, as here his legs. He really was about to die, wasn't he? In all honesty, she'd been far closer to Reiner during their training years than she had been to Armin. He enjoyed her antics, helped her train, and without him she didn't think she'd have made the top ten. 

They all sat and awaited the inevitable on a nearby rooftop. Reiner seemed to have awoken, and was looking around in confusion. He groaned wearily. Suddenly, a large crash sounded, and a mindless titan arose. Its hair was closer in color to Armin's, but she hardly noticed over the sound of Reiner starting to scream. 

"No! God, please, no!" Reiner cried, tears dripping down the side of his face. He turned his head and saw his former comrades watching him, then begged for help. "Guys! Help me! Please!" In that moment, Sasha fell to her knees and watched. It felt like Reiner made eye contact with her, but his vision quickly turned away towards the titan. "No! Zeke! Pieck! ...Bertholdt! Beeeerrrthooooldt!" 

"Shut up! Shut up, you damned monster! Just... shut up! Shut up!" Eren barked over and over, though Reiner didn't seem to hear it. The titan put Reiner into its mouth and bit down, and Sasha knew he was dead. Very shortly after, the titan collapsed. All of them rushed over to the collapsed titan to find Armin's unconscious form, fully healed from the injuries he'd sustained in battle. Sasha cried in relief whenever Armin was alive. 

After they took Armin away, when it was time to regroup, she noticed a headless body on the ground that had been forgotten. She swallowed, then flew away with her gear. 

  


It's been months since Shinganshina. Since the revelation of what lurked below in Eren's old basement. Since the existence of a world beyond the walls was confirmed. It would be a couple of months still before they would go far beyond the walls to where the ocean was supposed to be. But they'd returned to Shinganshina to establish a supply line, and then they were to return to Trost. 

Being back in the city brought back only unpleasant memories for Sasha. This was never home to her. This was where she was forced to fight her old friends, where her commander died, and where one of the best friends she'd ever had died. He killed so many people, and she hated him. But he was her friend, and she missed him. So badly she wanted to shake Reiner's shoulders and ask why? 

Armin hadn't said anything about anything of use in Reiner's memories yet. So she still didn't understand why. 

She wandered by herself inside the ruined city. Eren and Mikasa went back to their old home. Levi... he'd insisted he had to find Commander Erwin's bones and had set off on his own. Connie and Jean were talking about something back at the supply base being constructed. She... just needed a few moments to herself. 

How long had she wandered? Sasha couldn't be sure. She could quickly and easily travel wherever she needed with her ODM gear, but some quiet time to gather her thoughts was all she wanted. After a few moments, something caught her eye. Sasha frowned and looked at the ground. 

An incomplete skeleton? There were some yellow flowers growing through the ribs and around the skeleton. It was missing its head, and its limbs. But there were small bones with smooth ends coming from the shoulders and pelvis... Sasha gasped in realization. She approached the skeleton and noted the crushed bones in the neck. 

Yes, there was no doubt about it. This was Reiner's skeleton, his corpse having withered away after being forgotten all those months ago. After Armin had been revived, they'd just left Reiner's corpse to be forgotten about. He'd disappeared from all their conversations, and he was forgotten about in essence. Sasha approached the bones and sat down next to them, her crossing her legs. 

The breeze was warm, and the sun was going down. The small flowers gently swayed back and forth in the breeze. There was something hauntingly beautiful about the sight of the flowers blooming through Reiner's ribs. The bones, bleached white by the sun, were a warm orange in the sunset. Sasha sighed to herself and looked at them. 

"I'm supposed to hate you. But I don't think I do." Sasha picked one of the flowers and looked at it carefully. It was a zinnia. She glanced back at the flowers and sighed to herself. "You killed so many people. I thought I was your friend but you wanted to kill me. But everyone else seems to have moved on so easily. They laugh together and act like you and Bertholdt never existed." 

No response. It was just a pile of bones. Hell, Reiner's skeleton didn't even have a head to talk back with if skeletons could talk. It was quiet, and calm. Reiner always did stay quiet when she needed someone to talk to during their training years. They'd spent far more time together as cadets than it had been since everything happened. 

She sat in silence for what felt like forever, but it could've have been too long because the sun was still in the sky when Hange found her. "Sasha?" 

"O-Oh! Commander Zoe! I'm not slacking, I swear! I-I was just looking for a good place for us to take shelter tonight!" That might've been a better argument if the building she was sitting by wasn't mostly collapsed. The commander didn't seem upset, though they did take notice of the skeleton. 

"What are you doing out here?" Hange took a seat next to Sasha and examined the bones, then hummed. "These are Reiner's bones, aren't they?" Sasha wanted to sputter at her commander's words, but they spoke with an even tone. "The way the bones are broken, and what's missing. The injuries are definitely in line with what happened to him." 

"I-I'm sorry, commander! I'll get back to work! Don't mind me, I-" Hange grabbed Sasha's arm and pulled her back down whenever Sasha started to stand. Sasha swallowed and looked at them. Hange was giving her a look that was softer than she'd expected. Sasha crossed her legs while Hange picked a flower. 

"Zinnia. They symbolize endurance because the plant can endure harsh conditions." Hange was silent while they examined the flower. "Sometimes they're given as a way to say goodbye to friends. Scouts would get them from their friends quite often before expeditions. Surely you noticed. But they also show remembrance, and so sometimes families of fallen scouts get them as a way to show love to someone who's gone." 

"Oh..." Sasha wasn't sure how to respond. The silence was tense, if anything because she wasn't sure what she was supposed to say or do. 

"It's okay to miss him, Sasha." Hange said plainly. "Your expression says it all. You don't know how to feel." 

"I don't. Reiner took down the wall and people died. But we laughed, shared dinners, got drunk, we did so many things. He told me he was happy to be my friend. Was it all a lie?" Sasha felt tears prickling at her eyes. Hange was silent, then put a hand on Sasha's shoulder. 

"Sasha. How old was Reiner when he died?" Sasha looked at the ground and chewed on her lip. 

"Seventeen." They were all so young. Even Reiner and Bertholdt. Hange looked like they were in thought for a moment before staring down at the bones. Sasha looked at them with her commander. 

"If Reiner died when he was seventeen, that would mean he was only twelve when he and Bertholdt destroyed the walls. He and Bertholdt had mastery of their titans. Eren and Armin are needing time to master their titans. How long had they had their titans before they destroyed the walls, I wonder?" Hange thought out loud to themself. There was an untold story behind the bones, and Sasha wanted to understand. Hange wanted to understand, but they probably never would. "There was something they were fighting for. You said they desperately wanted to go back to their hometown. Where would child soldiers like them come from?" 

"I don't know." Sasha said quietly. It made sense, what Hange was saying. Reiner and Bertholdt, breaking down the walls at twelve and eleven... who were they? "I thought I knew them." 

"It's okay to miss your friends, Sasha." Hange said after a moment. "I wish things were different. Part of me wants to hate them for taking Moblit away from me. For putting me in this situation I am now, without someone like Erwin to guide me. But I can't hate them. They were kids. ...Just like you and your friends." 

They were just kids. Sasha understood that. But still, they killed so many people. Whose orders were they following? Bertholdt had said nobody would willingly be doing what he and Reiner were doing. What did that mean? Were they being forced into it by someone? "I loved him. Not romantically. But he was one of the best friends someone could ask for. Those days we trained together, had fun together. He really seemed happy." 

"He very well may have been happy. If he had such a cruel master that he was being forced to kill... maybe being friends with you was a reprieve for him. Actually, I'm sure of it. You made him happy. It's okay for you to admit he made you happy too." Sasha sniffled and looked at the bones. Reiner was all but forgotten. She didn't want to forget him. 

"Commander Hange?" They raised their brows while Sasha looked at them seriously. "I want to bury Reiner's bones. Please don't tell the others. I don't think they would understand." Hange stood wordlessly and nodded. They turned around and crossed their arms. 

"I won't say a word. I promise. I should probably head back to making sure the supply base is okay through the night." Hange looked back and gave a sympathetic smile to Sasha. "Take all the time you need. If anyone asks about you, I'll cover for you. Do what you need to do." With that, Hange started to make their way back from where they came. 

Sasha swallowed and looked at the bones. It felt morbid, but she gathered the bones and put them into a satchel that she had. There was bound to be an old shovel somewhere around. It only took a few minutes of searching the ruins of the city to find a shovel to dig a small grave. She was unsure of where to bury him, until she found a suitable location. Judging by her surroundings, this was probably a park before the walls fell. 

It was hard, but she was strong. Sasha dug a suitable hole for Reiner, then grabbed the satchel. It was macabre, she had to admit, dumping the old bones into the hole. She swallowed and grabbed a zinnia, then tossed it down into the hole with the bones before she filled it back in. The stars were twinkling overhead now, and soon she would be back with her friends. 

Sasha quickly retrieved some of the zinnias and made her way back to Reiner's grave. She gently put them on the unmarked mound and stood. "Even if the whole world hates you, I won't forget you. I'll never forget the good times. Maybe you really did think of me as a friend. I thought of you as a friend. ...Goodbye, Reiner." 

The warm wind felt nice on her skin, and the stars were beautiful. Her friends were all laughing together, and she joined into the joyful atmosphere as they talked about what the ocean must be like. 

Three years later, in a park in Shinganshina, there was a beautiful yellow zinnia plant. 


End file.
